When you look into the abyss...

This last Saturday, I had the privilege of going on a ropes course at Peak Adventures, which I am still reflecting on. Ropes courses are like a kind of mirror, a window into yourself, showing you in a basic environment how you resolve similar obstacles in real life. As in real life, the obstacles remain the same for everyone, but each person has a unique obstacle course inside them.

Should you ever do a ropes course, I don't want to spoil it for you because not knowing about the obstacles is 90% of the challenge, so I'll share only the lessons I learned about myself:

• I can be given the simplest of tasks and be acutely aware of that task's importance, but still get caught up in the emotion of the moment and lose sight of my main goal. (Also, I'm okay with spilt milk. Happens.)


• I may start out competitive, but end up seeing others being generous and become collaborative because it's more fun.


• Accurately or not, others may see me "psyching up" as being overly analytical. Although I am usually very analytical, it still takes some time to psyche myself up for any major risk, from my perspective. I'm still unclear if that's me being overly analytical and I simply need to take the risk if the risk is really that simple.


• I appear to trust others much more than I realized.


• I'm okay with letting others take control if I think the job is getting done. However, if I think the job isn't getting done, I'm unafraid about being vocal until the group gets the job done. Finally, if the group is at an absolute deadlock, I'm prepared to taking unilateral action at the risk of taking heat for it later.


• I'm less afraid of making suggestions than I used to be, especially if I'm around people I know won't immediately discard crazy ideas.


• I don't feel like I try to lead others, but many think of me as a leader. Based on my actions, I suppose I am.


• I used to always think I was open-minded... until I found on a previous ropes course that I had actually discarded a crazy "outside the box" suggestion, which turned out to be the solution to the obstacle—on this ropes course, I made a conscious effort to consider all ideas, no matter how crazy.


• I'm often terrible about listening to directions; I'm a visual person and verbal directions will almost always need to be given to me twice.


• I know when to speak up.


• I know when to shut up.


• I live my life by an honor code; I don't cheat.


• I know my limits and I'm okay with not pushing past them; I'm not trying to prove anything to myself or others.

If you ever have a chance to do a ropes course, I would highly recommend it. They offer obstacles like climbing walls, walking tightwires, etc., but they also offer mind puzzles intended to be solved as a group. The latter of these are often where you learn the most about yourself and the group you're working with. However, depending on how committed the course instructors are, you are only forced to consider the true implications of your actions for the "real world" if they draw your attention to it.

Special thanks to Ray Dussault of Lai Khe Films for comping the ropes course for all cast and crew on Deer Season.

When hot babes go bad.

Britney Spears is bald...

Lindsay Lohan is in rehab...

Paris Hilton is in jail...

and the über-hot Christina Aguilera is pregnant.

What happened? Did somebody change the channel???

Empowerment

Harvey Pekar. You know, the guy that American Splendor is about. I listened to him being interviewed on NPR, and it was fascinating to hear how this guy, who had been beaten up every day at school, had such low self-esteem that he chose to do a lowly clerk job so easy that he felt he couldn't do it badly. Still, in the depths of his self-styled minimum wage madness, he created extremely insightful populist modern art and thereby carved his own niche of fame from it.

That is empowerment, in my book. He may not have seen the direction American Splendor was taking him, but Pekar saw his opportunity to do something he thought would be cool... and he did it. And, by the wind of good graces, other people thought what he did was cool, too. The point is, he embraced his dream and the universe rewarded him for staying true to his honesty. He took action.

So this post is... an invitation to explore what empowers you. Maybe you work a stupid job for a stupid boss for a stupid wage. Or you're a stay-at-home parent and your daytime is Oprah and Judge Judy. Maybe you even make $1 million a year, but you still feel something fundamental is missing in your life.

What inspires you? What really fires you up? What makes you stay up until dawn without knowing time has passed? Do you even remember the last time that happened? It's there, inside you, waiting for you to open the door and let it dance around the room. So wander around that grand hallway of imagination for a while, try this door and then that door, jiggle all the handles to see which door wants to be opened. Then open it! Find your dream. Get in touch with that part of yourself you remember as a child that was so facile and fun. Maybe you won't find it for a while. That's okay... keep looking. You know it's there, as do I.

Now—if you've successfully unearthed that glittering diamond—I offer you a challenge. In this age where the internet has leveled the playing field for businesses to compete, if you're dependent on a stupid job to make your mortgage payments, can you take that passion that fires you like no one else and turn it into a business to make you money? Or, if you already make a kajillion dollars, can you take that passion and turn it into an idea that makes the world a better place? Money is not the goal here—living with your passion on a daily basis is.

No one watches The Matrix fight scenes or listens to Star Wars: Episode I's Pod Race sequences for cool sounds as much as I. No one studies the story structure of The Usual Suspects as much as I. No one thinks every day about how to break into the film business, and reads in their spare time on how to do it, as much as I do. No one loves a well-made film as much as I. Why? Because film is my passion. Film is how I feel empowered.

So what empowers you? What could turn your life into what you want it to be? I don't want comments (unless you feel like volunteering them)... I want you to think of this as an invitation to find out what you really love doing, and ask yourself if you are in fact doing it. And if not, why not?